Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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