I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize