oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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