I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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