On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize