I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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