I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
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Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
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ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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