white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
