In America we eat man semen.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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