Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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