I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
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