Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
