someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
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