these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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