Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
