I showed him my bush... on skype.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
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She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
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no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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