you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
