what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
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what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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