i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
