i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
