He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
