google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
