Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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