I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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