there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
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