the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
