Quick, to the slutcave!
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Randomize
