i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
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someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
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Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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