i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
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