bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
