I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
