there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
