That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
