so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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