I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
