So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
