The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize