By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
