I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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