sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
