Four minutes until I can fart!
you mean i was at the winter classic?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm way too hungover for life right now
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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