I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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