I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
