She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
