I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Enjoy the penises
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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