There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
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Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
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Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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