the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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