It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
