Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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