The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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