Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
