so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
