HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
