You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
We need to rekindle our bromance
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
