I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
