What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
