i think i have two assholes
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
