i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
