I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
