it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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