Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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