the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
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I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
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How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
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