i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize