Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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