If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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