I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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